A couple of months after my divorce, my mom asked me who my vehicle insurance company was. I simply looked at her blankly. I didn't have car insurance coverage, I hadn't got an MOT on my car - I later realised I didn't have home insurance either. None of it had actually crossed my mind. I was extraordinarily lucky nothing went incorrect.

At the age of 57 I had not paid a household expense or had any handle on my financial resources considering that I had actually married nearly 30 years earlier. Now divorced, I didn't have an idea where to start.

Rob and I wed on my 30th birthday - I wished to get wed before I turned 30. We had four kids - my stepson and three kids of our own. All of that time, Rob managed our cash and I didn't question it.

I simply put my revenues in our shared account and that was that.

I kick myself now for being dumb and naive. But my dad had actually looked after my mum and Rob took care of me. It felt like a sort of safety net for me.

I had a full-on task in the travel market, then setting up a complementary health centre and as a yoga teacher - and to be honest the home financial resources never interested me.

Balancing the books: When Fenella Lindsell was married, household finances never ever interested her

Every now and then I would ask him: 'How are our financial resources?' however it would typically be late at night and he 'd respond: 'Why are you discussing this now?'. I 'd state even if I was a bit concerned, however then I 'd get up the next early morning and not think about it once again.

We never ever defaulted on payments and weren't having anybody knocking on the door. But he was not always totally trusted - that could be really tough.

My oldest child certainly had a little a chequered education because we kept lacking money therefore we had to move him to other schools. But he's done fine - they're all OK.

Then throughout Covid we remained in lockdowns and couldn't be out and about doing our thing. And if relationships are currently not working as they should, they become a lot more fractious and difficult in those conditions. It damaged a lot and not long after we separated.

Once our finances were split I had to discover to do things for myself. I didn't even understand what that meant. I've always been ineffective at maths - when I took a seat to do my mathematics O-Level, I walked into the exam, wrote my name at the top of the page, drew a triangle and left since I didn't know it or want to do it.

So I was terrified at the thought of arranging my financial resources.

Around that time at a yoga retreat in Greece, I was speaking with a charming fellow and confided in him that I really missed my daddy due to the fact that he would have known how to assist me. And he informed me about his financial consultant, Louisa, who was excellent at describing and talking you through things.

So I constructed up the nerve to see her. And to my surprise I right away felt safe with her - I could pick up that she knew how to talk with individuals like me who are a bit rudderless and useless on financial resources. Strangely, the important things I was most frightened of was seeming like a fool. It makes you feel so susceptible.

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She assisted me to set up an Isa and described that I need to move my allowance of ₤ 20,000 from my cost savings into my Isa every year to safeguard it from tax.

Louisa also assisted me track down a pension that was begun for me when I was working for a hotel group at age 27. You don't believe about them at the time, however even little amounts can be worth something meaningful years later on if they have actually been invested.

She talked me through how risk works and exercised how to invest my pension in such a way that suggests it is growing but doesn't keep me up during the night stressing over it.

My self-confidence has actually grown and I understand how to check out the regular declarations I'm sent out about my pension. I look for the balance and how much it has grown - by 14 per cent in 2015 - but I also understand that in some cases it can fall and not to stress about it.

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I also understand how to get help when I require it - I 'd rather stab myself than do my income tax return, but despite the fact that my accountant does it I understand how to inspect my capital - my incomings and outgoings.

Now that I have actually got my ducks in a row - I understand who my insurance is with, where my mortgage is for my home in south London, how my pension is growing - I feel a lot lighter. I still would rather play tennis than look at spreadsheets, however I now know how to do it.

I 'd recommend anyone who leaves the finances to their spouse to share the duty - I want I had. You never understand what is around the corner - divorce or even worse.

My mom was likewise left in the very same position as me when my father died, due to the fact that he constantly looked after their finances and she had not found out how to do it. Make sure your savings account and investments are in both of your names so that you both get the declarations and see what you have.

Even if there are family costs that your partner pays, make certain you know what they are so you would understand what to do if you had to take control of the duty.

When you're wed to somebody you share bringing up your kids, you share cooking, you share your bed, you share your life - you need to share your financial resources. I think it's part of your dedication to one another.

So share the load, have an open mind and want to find out. Even if your hubby or better half is proficient at managing the cash, do not feel frightened to ask: should not this be a shared duty?